


Pigeon

by Banner4Hetalia



Series: Deadpool's Many Moments [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Poor Peter Parker, Wade Wilson Breaking the Fourth Wall, Wade was hungry, should have wrote this with a margarita, tony will not pay bail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 13:58:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18367427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Banner4Hetalia/pseuds/Banner4Hetalia
Summary: Wade was hungry and Peter should have seen this happening





	Pigeon

It was a normal day for Deadpool and Spiderman, well as normal as it can get for an eight month pregnant Deadpool. The two decided to go out to Central Park as Deadpool couldn't take sitting in their shitty apartment anymore. 

“You know you could make our apartment better author, but keep Bob, Bob is cool.”  
“Wade, who are you talking too?”  
“The author baby boy, keep up Petey, you know the one who wrote about our OBGYN's hit job.”  
“Wait, our OBGYN's dead?”  
“Yeah, he died in the last story.”

Peter decided to just roll with it, Wade was always talking about weird things.

“You know baby boy, the author has apparently decided that I'm conveniently hungry, how about we get something real quick.” “You just had something to eat Wade, we can get something to eat later.” “I wanna eat street meat Petey!” “No, none of them have health a department sticker.”  
“ But I'm hungry now!” Peter was so tempted to push Wade into the lake in Central Park, but that would be bad folks. “Wade, this is Central Park, there are probably lots of places to get some food.” “Well baby boy, the author is trying to torture us, cause I don't see anything food related.”

He's right I am.

“Just wait, we'll find something soon.”

Let it be known that Deadpool was never a patient person y'all. As they were walking together they passed by the many flying rats of New York aka pigeons.

As Deadpool stared at all of these pigeons he began to imagine them as food, several looking like KFC buckets. “Hey Peter, I'm gonna eat that pigeon.” “Wade do not eat that bird.” “ Peter you don't understand. I NEED to eat this and besides the author wants me to eat it, hell she probably wouldn't care if I ate all these flying rats.”

I really wouldn't.

“Wade you are eight months pregnant, we can go get some Abners, just please for the love of my dad's technology, PLEASE don't -OH MY LORD! WADE NO! PUT IT DOW- SWEET MOTHER OF SHIELD!”

Well that went from 0 to an 11 real quick.  
~Time skip~

Tony and Steve had just decided sat down to enjoy their evening together by watching “The Greatest Showman”  
“Doesn't this remind you of Wolverine for some reason?”  
“Yeah but a lot less hairy and hell of a lot less angry.”  
Steve looked at his husband, “ Tony.”  
“What, last time he came to the tower, he threatened to put a cigar out in my eye.”  
“You provoked him tony.”  
“Who's side are you on Stevie.”

This argument would have gone on longer when JARVIS suddenly interrupted them.  
“Sirs....you may want to see this.”

The screen suddenly switched over to a pretty blonde who was standing in Central Park. “This is Amelia for Channel 8 news. Tonight's top story is about a strange man in yoga pants, ugg boots and a 'I'm proof mommy puts out' shirt, who was caught eating several of the parks pigeons. Several eyewitness accounts say that all was calm until the strange man started shouting about being hungry before it all went wrong.”

The screen changes to a very elderly man at a hot-dog stand with the logo 'Stan's Dogs', “ It was horribly I'm trying to do my job and the next this weirdo just starts picking up pigeons and putting them in his mouth.” 

The tv suddenly changes again to a view from a camera showing what looks to be a heavilypregnant man folks picking up pigeons and attempting to eat them, screaming “ I'M GONNA EAT OF ALL THEM!” Another man appears on the camera and is see trying to pull the other away from eating the birds screaming “WADE NO!!”

Tony and Steve could only look on in horror as they watched this.  
“What fresh hell is this?”  
“Oh my goodness is he trying to eat a bird?” Steve was genuinely terrified.  
“ That's not a bird Steve, that's a flying rat.”  
“I'm calling Peter.” “No we're not getting involved in this.”  
At this point Steve's phone started ringing showing a picture of Peter on the screen. “Steve, don't you do it, stay out of it.”  
Unfortunately Steve couldn't stay out of it, and risk letting his baby get dragged down with Wade's weirdness. “Hello Peter............yes, we did see the news,..............we'll be down there soon. To bail him out” “ What is this 'we' Steve. We're not bailing him out.” 

Unfortunately for Tony, Wade was bailed out and now had a lifetime ban from Central Park.  
“See Peter, if you had just let me eat some hot-dogs earlier, the author wouldn't have had to make me eat pigeons and the poor readers wouldn't have been traumatized.”

Next time Peter just let Wade do what he wants.  
“Thanks for siding with me author!”


End file.
